On Monday night, I attended my first mindfulness meditation workshop run by Julie who goes to some of my Anxiety Support Group meetings. She’s set up a small space in the back of an office space with a circle of chairs, relaxing imagery adorning the walls and a candle in the middle. She talked about the three components of self-compassion which include self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. She also gave us a handy acronym (RAIN) to help us when we’re feeling overwhelmed emotionally and to stop us from being so hard on ourselves.
Recognise what’s going on
Allow the experience to be there, just as it is
Investigate with kindness
Non-identification or natural awareness, which comes from not identifying with the experience
We ended up doing three short meditations roughly 10-15 minutes each which were all guided by Julie. Two of these focused on breathing and counting the breath on the inhalation and exhalation. The third was a basic body scan meditation focusing on each body part, tensing it up and then relaxing it. It does become quite easy to get distracted by your thoughts and making sure that you don’t accidentally doze off but Julie allowed us to use the candle as a focal point when necessary.
On Tuesday night, I had my second patisserie cooking class at Balla Balla Community Centre. This week the class size doubled to six people and we had to work in pairs. We had to make a hazelnut dacquoise (dessert cake) and honestly it was a pretty complicated recipe with many steps involved. We had to divide the tasks up evenly between us.
I began working on the raspberry puree whilst Linda made the custard. Unfortunately my burner was positioned directly behind the air conditioner and so getting the temperature up to 85 degrees Celsius was near impossible especially when you constantly have to stir. But upon moving the saucepan to a different burner, I was finally making progress. The next part involved making a meringue using icing sugar, eggs and hazelnut mixture.
After baking the bases, we prepared the chocolate pieces by melting it first, laying it out and making random patterns in the chocolate. We then had to assemble the dacquoise by piping layers of strawberry and chocolate flavoured cream, adding some raspberries and chocolate pieces on the very top. I have to admit I did make a few mistakes but I was really proud of the finished product. It really did look professional and we got to take it home in a cake box.
On Thursday afternoon, I had my third counselling session with Dr. Ritchie Wong. He has recently moved practices to Sladen Street Psychology. I was a little late finding the location and parking but thankfully he was running late too. After a brief chat, we began to EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy firstly with positive experiences. I had to hold a pair of leads which vibrate from left to right in an alternating pattern which is meant to stimulate rapid eye movement inside the brain.
I had to visualise several people in my life that have been nurturing and protective towards me and then he’d ask me how I’m feeling and where abouts in my body am I feeling it. It was hard describing my feelings but I did the best I could. As with all new experiences, you don’t always know what to expect. Sometimes I didn’t know how to answer his questions or what to say but I refused to be hard on myself. It was actually a really pleasant, calming experience.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve been producing a series of paintings based on photographs that I’ve taken from my Lakes Entrance trip back in January. View From Lakes Entrance Pier and View From Inside Buchan Caves (Fairy Cave) are both very abstract in style yet still depict the forms of water and rock respectively. On the other hand, View From Buchan Caves Reserve and View From Lakes Entrance Lookout are more bold and textured with strong forms and colours. They were partly inspired by the work of Howard Arkley who is famous for his airbrushed paintings of street scenes and residential house facades.
Tonight’s gig at the Workers Club was another sold out show and once again I found myself bumping into lots of friends even before I walked into the band room itself. Even in these social situations with a full of positive vibes, my brain still finds way to interfere by focusing on all my flaws. But somehow most people look beyond these. They already know my weaknesses and therefore don’t give them any weight. I am a genuine, kind, caring, loving, determined, strong, creative, talented and well-liked human being. So I can’t hold a conversation to save my life even though I do try to, it’s easier to express myself in other ways.
ARKIVE…The last time I saw this Melbourne-based experimental/post-hardcore band was a couple of months back where they supported Make Them Suffer. Thankfully there was no setbacks this time and the whole set ran smoothly. The boys were really on point tonight with groove-driven guitar riffs, electronic rhythms and pounding drum patterns. Cleans vocalist Mitch really comes into his own with a swing/jazz styled vocal delivery which works well in tandem with the screams of Court. They played several tracks including Birth Right, Golden Vine and One. https://arkiveau.bandcamp.com/
PERSPECTIVES…I believe I saw this Sydney-based melodic hardcore/emo punk band a while back at Wrangler Studios. Vocalist Rob put on an energetic performance on stage. It was good to see him providing some insight into what each track is about. The themes range from the importance of being yourself to learning from past mistakes. They played several tracks including I Lost You, Oceans, All The Lies You Spoke and new single Between White Space. https://perspectivesau.bandcamp.com/…
POLARIS…I honestly couldn’t be prouder of this band. They have had much deserved praise and success after releasing their follow up EP The Guilt and The Grief with the band gaining entry into the ARIA charts. This Sydney-based progressive metalcore band really delivered the goods tonight with an incredibly entertaining set. The crowd really got into it with plenty of singalongs, jumping and moshing. Vocalist Jamie even got a bit of crowd surfing action towards the end of the set. They played songs including Regress, Hold You Under, Unfamiliar, Aspirations and The Undertow. https://polarisaus.bandcamp.com/
BELLE HAVEN…Tonight was sadly drummer James Vernon’s last show ever with the band and so it was pretty bittersweet watching him play for the final time with Belle Haven. As usual the set was wild as hell with vocalist David commanding the stage and getting the crowd involved with fist pumps, moshing and handclaps. He even charged through the crowd carrying a massive flag with the BH logo on it. They played several tracks from their album Everything Ablaze including Rolls And Fame, Tongues, The Looking Glass, Closet, Ms Black Dress and Hunt For Health. https://itunes.apple.com/au/album/e…
STORIES…Unfortunately I didn’t end up sticking around for this Sydney-based progressive metalcore band. You can check out their album The Youth To Become which includes the singles For A Second…I Couldn’t See Anything and Under Haze here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/t…
A big shoutout to Liam Fowler for being an awesome bloke plus all of my friends who hung out and said hi to me tonight. I fucking love you all 🙂
Windows Live space 